Twas The Night Before Christmas – 2013 Edition

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even my computer mouse;

The pc screen glowed blank155096200
With all creativity ka-put,
My Muse took a holiday
From inspiring my book;

The NaNo craze had ended
I’m in edits knee deep,
While visions of ‘the end’
Dance out of reach;

Exhausted from writer’s block,
And with my sleep mask,
I had just curled in bed
For a short cat nap;

When out on the street
There arose such a thunder,
I sprang from my bed
To see what was the rumble.

Away to the window
In bunny slippers I sprang,
I stumbled and tripped
And drew back the drape.

The vapor lamps casting poolschris
Of pale light on the street
Gave the luster of mystery
To objects beneath,

When, what to my wondering eyes
Caught my sight,
But a red ragtop muscle car,
And eight Harley bikes,

With a super hot driver
With a smooth grin of mirth
I knew in a moment
It must be Chris Hemsworth.

More handsome in person
His buds they came,
And I whistled and squealed
As he called them by name.

“Now Channing! Now Gerard!
Now, Adam and Bradley!
On Ryan! On Beckham!
On Robert Jr. and (of course) Johnny!

To the edge of the curb!
To the end of the way!
Now pull over! Pull over!
Pull over here, I say!”

As the growl of engines
Revved and roared,
Testosterone oozed
From their very cores;

So up to my house
The hotties they drove,
With Chris in the lead
Of this dreamy treasure trove.

And then in an instant,
I heard them out front,
The back-slapping and laughing
Of each manly hunk.

As I wiped the drool
And raced to the den,
In sauntered Chris
A perfect Ten.

He was dressed all in leather
From his head to his boots
Just like superhero Thor
He was lip-smacking good.

A bundle of goodieschris 3
He had flung on his back,
And his t-shirt strained
Against a nice six-pack.

His eyes – how they seared!
His lips, how inviting!
His jaw line so strong,
His smirk too enticing!

His dark flaxen goatee
Was trimmed just right
And his blond tousled hair
Gilded in the firelight;

The sky blue of his gaze
full of smoldering heat,
And he took off his jacket
And rolled up his sleeves;

Wide, cut shoulders
And flawless firm rear,
Completing the package
All but brought me to tears.

He was lean and fit,
A right sexy heartbreaker,
And I fanned my face,
As ideas struck this story maker.

A wink of his eye
And I nearly swooned,
Naughty or nice?
My thoughts lampooned;

He spoke not a word
But went straight to his work,
And left festive presents
As I giggled and lurked,

And smiling to meNRT
My Muse had more than awaken,
And giving a nod,
Chris left me a-quaking.

He hopped in his convertible,
Gave a whistle to his team,
And away they all drove,
Leaving me to scheme.

But I heard him exclaim
Ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas Writing to all.
And to all a good night.”

8 Responses to Twas The Night Before Christmas – 2013 Edition

  1. Nat says:

    I think this is my favorite rendition, EVER!


  2. Will Graham says:

    Just when you think it’s all been said before,
    Along comes Jenn! with a re-write once more.

    Her words sing songs of visions in her head
    And make you think “Just what goes in her bed?”

    But as it is the Holidays I must behave,
    And keep silent the speculations her audience craves.

    So, to bid you au revoir and keep this G-Rated,
    To read Jenn’s Pirate Books her audience is fated!


  3. And to think I had an eggnog line all ready…

    I think someone may be a little nervous about the Naughty List this year, hence the fully clothed Thor…

    I see you’re not just a writer, but a show-off poet as well. 😉 Luv it!


    • jbrayweber says:

      Aww, thanks, Kristen. As for being naughty, Santa is used to shaking his head at my antics. And try as I might, I couldn’t find a suitable nekkid (or partially one) that captured just what I was looking for. You know, that sizzling gaze that makes you think he is staring at your very core. *shivers*


  4. reneeregent says:

    AWESOME! I love it! I love humorous poetry. That cheered me right up. Chris is my favorite, too.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: