Hump Day Kick Start – for your muse, a writing picture prompt, or just a visual treat.
What a fun prompt!
Who are these two and how did he end up on the floor? Oh, what possibilities! Has he literally fallen for her? Is a sexy dare about to get muy caliente? Does he have two left feet and tripped dancing? Is she an assassin sent to kill a billionaire? Or did he come on too strong, forcing her to use the super quick and impressive moves she learned from her brother/sensei/the military/while shoe sale shopping?
Let me hear your take!
MUSETRACKS 
“You are REALLY starting to become an irritant to me. How DARE you do that!”
“I’m sorry. I apologize. I won’t do it again.”
“Um hmm… I KNOW you won’t do it again. For the moment, get your butt off the floor and go get me some more BLACK & WHITE COOKIES, you IDIOT!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
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Whoa! If only I could get my way like The Pistol, life would be so much easier. 😉 Thanks, Will!
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Tune in for another episode of Brazilian Wax Inspector:
“Yes, ma’am. You passed.”
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Bwahahahaha! I bet that is a long-running show…somewhere….down South.
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Cute girl — at least the parts we can see.
Okay, here’s Maria’s story:
—
Humbert was over an hour late when he finally arrived to take Maria to their elegant dinner. By now, the reservation was forfeit. Maria was understandably upset… and quite hungry.
When Humbert’s only explanation (for his tardiness) was a shrug and lame smile, Maria shoved him to the floor.
“You show up in your expensive suit, an hour late, I’m starving and drooling for prime rib, and I’m supposed to be bowled over by that silly smirk that passes for your charm?”
Humbert had no reply to that assessment.
“Well, now it’s YOUR turn to wait… and drool. You lay right there on the floor and I’m going to walk all over you for 20 minutes. Let’s see how you like to be kept waiting… and tantalized. You make any attempt to get up and the clock starts over.” Then she stopped in mid stride. “And keep your hands to yourself.”
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Oh my, Jeff! He doesn’t look like he will last the first 2 minutes, let alone twenty!
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Frankly, I don’t think she expects him to
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The vixen!
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heh heh heh
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After Dalinda and Rupert returned home from the naughty movie Fifty Shades of Grey, Dalinda asked “Well, Rupert do you want to get down and dirty?”
Rupert the dominator blinked and said “You mean, me on the bottom and you on the top?”
Dalinda said “Ya, something like that.”
“Now Rupert, do you know the safe word?”
Rupert said, “Yes. I think the word “No” is a good one.”
Dalinda scoffed and said don’t go wimpy on me. NO, is not a good word. How about Grapefruit. Then I’ll know you mean business.”
After the usual rituals that Dalinda and Rupert engaged in, Dalinda heard a beep. Curious, she looked down and Rupert was on the floor.
“Rupert, what are doing? What’s that beeping sound It sounds like a Life Alert.
“I’m sorry, Dalinda. I forgot the safe word and fell. I mean I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
Seconds later Firemen stormed the house and rescued Rupert.
Dalinda was in shock. She was in her alltogethers and Rupert was whimpering in pain.
Fireman Joe explained that this was the third emergency call tonight.
He exclaimed that he will really be glad when that movie craze dies down.
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HAHAHA! No? As a safe word? Too funny! And poor Dalinda. Yes, Dalinda!
What’s more…these situations happen often in real life.
Great job, Marie!
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HILARIOUS MARIE!!!
“I think no is a good safe word.” SNORT
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Thanks, Sarah!
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Unfortunately, along those lines….. 😇
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-rescue-mans-penis-toaster-2346520
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Yup…Not surprised. Some people should simply not procreate…with anything. You know, to eliminate those gene pools.
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Okay, will somebody please explain the running joke about Oreos?
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Well, Jeff. It has to do with a certain preschooler. She easily gets men of all ages, including William, to do her bidding, and she just so happens to love a certain black and white cookie at a locally famous pastry shop her mamma frequents most Fridays with several writing peers.
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sounds like a cookie *I* would also enjoy.
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William, this gives a whole new meaning to the motto: “Don’t try this at home”. LOL.
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Using my character Helena Thorn (aka Hel) from my assassin story
“You’re a bastard and deserve to be locked up.” Hel stepped over him instead of putting her Louboutin stiletto through a particular part of his anatomy, but why ruin her favorite pair of shoes.
“I’m sorry. Please.” he tried to crawl away from her.
“Begging?” That’s really beneath you. Did the women you brought here beg? Did they plead with you to stop? Or did you just give them more drugs so they wouldn’t know what was happening. Drugs to make them more compliant and leave them with an impaired memory?” She moved to the door. .
Then she stopped and dialed 911, advising the dispatcher an ambulance was needed. She had at least ten minutes before EMS arrived, and she could replace the shoes. He deserved to be taught a lesson and she was just the woman to do it. Foolish man thinking she was such an easy mark, she was going to show him just how wrong he was. He was about to introduce him to the real Hel.
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Holy Hel! 😉 What a dark twist, Ruth. Love it!
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WHAT are you Google searching to come across links like that, Will?!
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Cade cursed his cousin Amy for setting up this blind date. A babysitter had just let him in Portia VanWick’s house!
A babysitter.
He wasn’t interested in dating women-with-brats.Yeah, sure the little boy and girl were giggly and cute, banging blocks on the carpet, but Cade didn’t need this complication. He didn’t need the date either, but did Amy listen?
He nodded absently as the babysitter apologized for Portia’s tardiness, assuring him she’d be right out. Great. He’d parked illegally in his haste to arrive on time but evidently Princess needed to make an entrance. The night was going to hell on a bullet train. AND he was missing the Texans game…
Babysitter invited him to sit with her and the toddlers and Cade managed a polite decline. She smiled awkwardly and left him in the condo foyer. Gritting his teeth he whipped out his phone and texted: “KIDS, Amy? WTF?!”
“You’ll thank me” came the reply, with a winking emoticon.
“Sure I will,” he muttered and jammed the cell phone back in his breast pocket. Chick probably still had her pregnancy weight, would want to talk about the kids’ developmental stages all night and he guessed six…no, seven times she’d excuse herself f to call the babysitter and check on everything.
Amy had assured him that her fellow assistant district attorney was ‘quite a step up’ from Karen, but how did you replace the comfortable routine of an eleven year marriage? Knowing Karen didn’t expect gooey romance and he didn’t expect sex unless it was Sunday afternoon…a Valentine card would suffice, anniversaries meant a nice dinner out. And if Karen hadn’t asked for a divorce he’d be watching the game right now while she curled on the other side of the sofa with a novel.
Cade glanced at his watch, frowning. The toddlers exploded with laughter and he switched his attention to them. The boy clung to the cocktail table with one hand and had evidently swept all the magazines to the carpet with the other. The girl clapped in delight and Babysitter patiently gathered the magazines and put them back in a neat, precise order. Like Karen would have done.
Immediately the boy swept the magazines off again. Kid was definitely cute. Cade wandered over and sat on the sofa. He instantly became the focus of the kids’ attention and both toddled over yammering baby talk and pointing at their blocks. Hell, he may as well entertain them–this was probably going to be the highlight of his night. He lay on the floor and quickly built an amazing architectural structure under the kids’ awed stares. The second he finished, the boy kicked it over. Even the babysitter joined in the laughter. Cade fought his own smile, pretending to be a grouchy bear at the loss of his building. A tickle fight followed.
As the kids gathered the blocks Cade heard movement behind him. He wasn’t about to make the effort to jump up and greet Portia. Here’s the reaction to your very late entrance, Princess! How about an apology?
“You must be Cade,” a soft, sultry voice said. He blinked. What the…
He was in the process of turning to sit up when the most amazing pair of tanned legs that went on for miles came into view. Stunned, he stayed half on his back. THIS woman had kids? She was a Playboy story come true!
“Come give mommy a kiss goodnight,” Portia said to the kids. She stepped over him on 6 inch, tasseled stilettos and in a flash he saw the eighth wonder of the world. Every muscle but one froze, and the life of routines and apathetic efforts at romance he pined for went up in smoke.
“Thank you, Amy,” he breathed.
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second to last paragraph is classic stuff, Sarah.
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NAILED IT! This is my new favorite one from you, Sarah!
Jeff was right. The second to last paragraph is awesome. Dare I say, very typical and accurate portrayal.
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Thanks, Jennifer!
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To answer Sarah’s question, I am NOT searching for these. They are either posted on FB, or friends send them to me as potential research! Some of them are so bloody outraegous – even by MY standards – I know I’ll never use them in a book, so I pass them along here on Musetracks…..
To bounce off Jenn!s comment, there are indeed times I believe it might be time for a touch of chlorine in the Gene Pool…..
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